Very interesting post! I feel like you divided your thoughts in a clean way using these different paragraphs, each having their own idea while still being related with the others. It makes the reading really pleasant and allows the reader to get a concise idea of what you are trying to tell through your post and your art.
Grammatically speaking there is no mistakes I could see and overall I feel like you really tried to explain every design decision behind the art that you are presenting. By doing so and showing the reasons for the changes that took place, it makes it really clear to understand what kind of aesthetic you are trying to create for each part of the game, and how this will impact the player experience.
All of that makes it clear that you have understood the MDA framework and that you try to apply it to the best of your ability into your game.